i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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