Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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