she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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