You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
