I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's just like the Real World with babies
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
