Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
