How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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