My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
