don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
