found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
