Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
