im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
