Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
