It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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