Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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