The maid of honor just puked.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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