he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
