It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize