Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
