Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
