my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
