He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
