oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I faked an abortion last night.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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