My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
