I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
