why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
