I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize