Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
