Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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