i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
