I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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