you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
