...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
