I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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