CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
