The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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