hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
