New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He felt like a one man threesome
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
