did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
