he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
