I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
