Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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