at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
