Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
