she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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