Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
