Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
