You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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