Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
