I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
