everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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