I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
