I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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