he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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