OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
