It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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