Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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