Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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