dude i'm inner monologue high
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
