I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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