I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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