so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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